Identifying the Wins in Failure: Determination to Rise After Falling
Welcome back to Men’s Resiliency Lab! I’m Reggie Jackson, LSCSW, and this is the fourth installment in our series on Identifying the Wins in Failure. Today, we’re diving into the role of determination—the fuel that powers you to get back up after a fall. Using our core framework of self-compassion, grit, and determination, we’ll explore a practical tool to keep you moving forward, no matter how hard the setback. Let’s dive in.
Failure can feel like hitting a wall, but determination is the force that helps you climb over it. Whether it’s a career misstep, a strained relationship, or a personal goal that slipped through your fingers, determination is about refusing to stay down. A 2024 study on resilience found that individuals who set clear, actionable intentions after setbacks were 35% more likely to achieve their goals within six months. At Men’s Resiliency Lab, we see determination as the bridge between where you are and where you want to be.
So, how do you harness determination to rise after falling? Enter the Next Step Plan, a simple exercise to channel your focus and energy. Grab a pen and paper (or your phone’s notes app) and pick a recent failure—maybe a missed promotion, a fitness goal you abandoned, or a moment you didn’t show up as your best self. Follow these three steps:
Acknowledge the Fall: Name the failure briefly and honestly. No need to dwell, just state it. Example: “I didn’t get the job I applied for.”
Define Your Why: Why does moving forward matter to you? Connect to a deeper purpose, like providing for your family, improving your health, or becoming a better partner. This fuels your determination.
Pick One Next Step: Identify one small, doable action you can take this week to move closer to your goal. If you didn’t get that job, your next step might be updating your resume or scheduling a networking coffee. Keep it specific and achievable.
This Next Step Plan is where determination intersects with our framework. Grit keeps you committed to taking that step, even when motivation fades. Self-compassion reminds you to celebrate the effort, not just the outcome—showing up for that coffee meeting is a win, even if it doesn’t lead to a job right away. Determination ties it together by giving you the resolve to act, no matter how small the step.
For example, let’s say you skipped a week of workouts and feel discouraged. Your Next Step Plan might look like this: Acknowledge the fall (“I didn’t exercise last week”). Define your why (“I want to feel stronger and have more energy for my kids”). Pick one step (“I’ll go for a 15-minute walk tomorrow morning”). That single step builds momentum and reinforces your resilience.
As you try this, practice self-compassion by silencing the inner critic. Instead of thinking, “I should’ve done better,” tell yourself, “I’m taking one step, and that’s progress.” This mindset keeps you grounded and forward-focused.
Give the Next Step Plan a try this week. Write down your plan and act on it, then notice how it feels to move forward. Want to share your experience? Drop a comment below or reflect privately—we’re here to support a community of men rising together.
Looking ahead, our next post will wrap up this series by tying together self-compassion, grit, and determination into a unified strategy for turning failure into fuel. Don’t miss our upcoming eBook, Turning Failure into Fuel, packed with tools to strengthen your resiliency. Bookmark Men’s Resiliency Lab for weekly insights and join the journey!
