Here’s The Difference Between Depression, Sadness and Grief
Hey what’s up fellas, let’s address the elephant in the room, lots of men are dealing with some form of high functioning depression: you can look like you’ve got it all together—steady job, people depending on you, gym routine locked in—and still be fighting something heavy inside. Shout out to y’all doing ya thang, there are a lot of people who depend on you and who the hell has the time to be worrying about depression!
Depression is a tricky beast, and no, it’s not the same as just “feeling down.”
Let’s clear up the misunderstanding!
Sadness is a normal reaction to something that hurts. Your team loses, your car breaks down, someone close disappoints you—you feel it, but it usually passes.
Grief is a deeper sadness tied to real loss. Losing a friend, a parent, a relationship. It comes in waves, but it changes over time. Please note this can also include the loss of an important relationship, a job, a pet, etc. Also, you don’t just get over grief, you just get better at managing it, very important to remember.
Depression is different. It sticks around. It can show up as constant irritability, feeling numb, zoning out, or just not caring about things you used to. There is nothing worse than a bad case of the f*ck its!!!
For men, often times the internalizing of feelings doesn’t present themselves as much as externalized behaviors. Heavy drinking and drugging, getting into some freaky sex stuff [I’ve seen it with a client before]. A person usually will worry about their issues less if they start digging into a BDSM kink!
I’ve often seen men start to overfunction at work, have anger issues, isolate and kinda check out from the daily tasks life throws at us.
There are two main forms we see a lot:
Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) is what most people call “clinical depression.” It can make even basic tasks—getting up, showering, showing up—feel impossible.
High-Functioning Depression is trickier. You go to work, hit deadlines, joke with your boys—but underneath, you’re drained, disconnected, and feel like you’re faking it.
Here’s the kicker: both are real. Both deserve attention.
Ways to Manage Depression (That Actually Help)
Talk to someone. You don’t gotta spill your guts, but if it happens you probably were walking around with a lot. A therapist, coach, or support group can help you make sense of what’s happening.
Check your habits. Are you numbing out with work, alcohol, or endless scrolling? Try building in real rest—sleep, movement, food that fuels you. Get your ass off the social media where people act like they are living the perfect life, we know they ain’t!
Move your body. Doesn’t have to be weights or marathons. A walk, a stretch, some sun. Your brain needs it. Special note: I’ve work with lot of folks who’s depression were so intense this body movement thing was not happening. Getting out of bed can take a lot of effort sometimes!
Stick to a simple routine. Don’t overcomplicate it—wake up, eat, move, connect. Small wins build momentum.
Watch the inner critic, he’s an asshole and will continue to try to beat you down. Don’ t let him all the time! Be tough on his ass like he’s tough on you! If the voice in your head is always tearing you down, that’s not “motivation”—it’s self-destruction.
Lastly, struggling with depression doesn’t make you lame, it’s a powerful chemical imbalance in your head and it’s real work. It means you’re human, show yourself some grace. That’s the best way to figh back. Keep throwing punches! Peace!
